Grief and Loss

Grief is an emotional response to loss.

It is not possible to live life without experiencing loss. Loss is the other side of the gifts bestowed upon us throughout our lifespan.

We lose people, relationships, jobs, health, financial security, status, youths, and lives. These losses create many emotions within us that we are all familiar: sadness, anger, fear, confusion, guilt, etc.

At times, these emotions and the behaviors they evoke can become overwhelming and make it difficult to move on with our lives.

When mourning and grief are unbearable for too long and intrude upon daily life (through obsessive thinking related to the loss, suicidality, or experiencing an inability to accept the loss), it might be helpful to seek grief counseling.

Nina* grieved the loss of her best friend – Zeus.

Nina had lost her dog, Zeus. He was her childhood dog – even accompanying her to college, being present when she married, and becoming best buddies with her first child.

Then Zeus, at age 16, got cancer. He had tried his best to stay around as if he knew the family still needed him.

When Nina came into therapy, Zeus had been gone for a year, but Nina was still devastated. She felt lost without the only creature in the world that gave more than it took from her. Zeus also gave her a sense of self when everything changed, including becoming a mom and navigating the pandemic.

Zeus connected Nina to her old self when she was free of the enormous responsibilities that fell on her now. She didn’t feel understood by her people, who suggested getting another dog. They didn’t realize what Zeus had meant to her.

Nina struggled to accept the loss of Zeus.

In therapy, we worked through the grief together. We made space for it and explored all its aspects.

For once, Nina didn’t feel ‘pressured to move on.’ She was allowed to experience the depth of her pain without judgment in the presence of another human. She created a narrative about the place of Zeus in her life that honored him and allowed her to integrate his death into her own story.

Instead of withdrawing from friends with dogs, she started volunteering in a shelter, walking dogs and providing them with connection and affection.

Though Nina could let go of Zeus, she is still in treatment to process the traumatic losses that preceded the loss of Zeus.

There is no timeline for grief.

Every person processes grief differently and at their own pace – there is no handbook with proper protocols to follow. However, sometimes you need a companion to grieve it out with you. Therapy can provide a companion to help you with processing your grief.

Having someone by your side can help make sense of your grief, acknowledge the loss, and hold your sadness when it’s too much for you alone. These are the times when therapy can be beneficial.

When you fall into the abyss of grief, get someone by your side who knows the way out.

Nina benefitted while working with me, and so can you. Don’t suffer alone, struggling to process your loss. Let me walk beside you as you find ways to deal with the grief you feel.

You will never forget your loss completely, but you can learn to see it from a different perspective. Please get in touch with me today, and let’s take this journey together.

*Name and story are composite narratives and do not reflect an actual client.